"People never fail to amaze me. They face the unimaginable with a shot of grace and a rush of adrenaline; they steel their nerves; they summon their cool or anger or faith or whatever it takes to pull them through, and they go on to live another day." -- Oprah Winfrey
You know, I kind of thought having infertility issues was bad. Then came the diagnosis of pre-diabetes. OK. I found the good in each situation...if I hadn't gone for infertility treatment, the blood tests that revealed my pre-diabetes never would have happened...and then, I would just continue to balloon up in weight despite one hour near daily workouts, and my blood pressure and overall health would've been shot, etc., etc. Plus, the doctor said that if I had the proper response to the Metformin I'm currently taking that I'd be able to conceive more easily. One problem is supposed to cancel out the other, I suppose.
But then last week came...a routine pap smear came back with atypical cells. Then I got the phone call directing me to come in, right away, for a second test that was going to be couriered to the test lab. But don't be nervous! No need to panic!
Sure. Whatever.
I came in, the test was done, and as a courier came to run the sample to the lab, the doctor sat me down in his office to break it to me: I have HPV.
What is HPV? It's an acronym for Human Papillomavirus. It's a sexually transmitted disease, believe it or not! And I was not a "loose girl" growing up, I can assure you of that much. My research into this matter reveals that, according to whatever statistic you want to look at, HPV affects as many as 75% to 85% percent of the population. Both men and women get it. (That means that three out of four of you reading this have it...and the more sensitive pap smear tests now available are catching increasing numbers of women who have had it all along and weren't aware of it...if your OB/GYN hasn't been using this more sensitive pap test, you should ask them to do it, because trust me, as rude as it is to discover I've got HPV, ignorance is so not bliss).
Currently 20 million people in the US have HPV, and approximately 5.5 million more are diagnosed with it every year. HPV affects more human beings than any other sexually transmitted disease, and yes, that includes HIV.
What troubles me is that according to statistics, 1 out of every 1,000 women with HPV have cervical cancer. And two women in my family have already fallen victim to that statistic. Damn it.
THAT is why ignorance is not bliss, if you know what I mean.
So now, for me, there is triple trouble: (1) difficulty conceiving, and I'm 36 to begin with, suffering from decreased ovarian reserve (I'm running out of eggs faster than I should be); (2) pre-diabetic; and (3) HPV.
What's increasingly troubling for me is that another study found that 2/3 of all STD cases occur in people age 25 and younger. I'm 11 years older than that. How long has this HPV been hanging out inside my body, going undetected because of less sensitive pap tests being taken?
HPV is, more specifically, the name of a grouping of viruses that includes more than 100 strains (or types) and more than 30 of these strains affect the genitals of their victims. Now, mine are just fine, thank you very much. But that's not necessarily going to save me...most people who have HPV have NO symptoms at all. The virus just hangs out in the mucous membranes, near undetectable. It is believed that HPV often clears on its own. Well, that sounds great to me. There is no "treatment" per se for HPV. Only for the warts that a small percentage of those affected get (again, not me) and for the pre-cancerous changes that may occur in the cervix (I so hope not me).
My doctor explained to me that since I'm not a smoker, the odds of HPV morphing into full-blown cancer is very low. I've NEVER been a smoker. I tried one cigarette at age 11 and one more at 25. That's it. Thought it was gross, never went there again. So, I must do my level best to cheer up. In terms of additional potential good news, it is known that all types of HPV can cause mild abnormal Pap test results which do not end up having serious consequences. 10 out of 30 of the identified genital HPV lead to the development of cervical cancer.
The upsetting thing is that for 90% of women, after two years' time certain HPV infection becomes undetectable, but of course the HPV remains present...and morphs into cancer. That's why a Pap test is so very important. Regular Pap testing is a must! And if HPV is found, medical follow-up, with treatment if necessary, can help ensure that pre-cancerous changes in the cervix caused by HPV infection do not develop into deadly cervical cancer. The American Cancer Society has estimated that 10,520 women will develop invasive cervical cancer and about 3,900 women will die from this disease. This is so unacceptable because most women who develop invasive cervical cancer have not had regular cervical cancer screening...which means that their cancer could have been avoided.
If anyone gets anything out of today's posting, it's a dire warning to you, to steel yourself and face your fear ("Do I have it? Do I want to know about it? Why should I risk getting upset?") Because not knowing can be deadly. Hello! Cancer! Cancer is the hard "C" I don't ever want to hear, the other word is no big deal in comparison, ladies!
So, sure, when I got the bad news a few days ago, on top of a nasty cold (can the temperatures in New York State fluctuate any more???), I submerged to lick my wounds. Yes, I'm living the old adage of "when it rains, it pours." But I have to give myself a dose of grace and a shot of adrenaline. I still have to work. I still have to function. Bring home the proverbial bacon and fry it up in a pan. I have to do my best to look at the bright side...in another day, this cold will have left my body. I have an absolutely wonderful husband-to-be, who adores me, and even went with me to the doctor's office for every test I've had this year. I am lucky to have the employment opportunities that I have. Lucky to live in the beautiful home I have. Lucky to have every day of life that I've got left. Luck is certainly "Labor Under Correct Knowledge" in my book...I've worked very hard to get where I am in life. I've done my best to maximize my opportunities. And I will continue to do so, until there are no more days left in my life...however many more days I have left in my life.
I hope to be able to report to you that I am lucky not to have pre-cervical cancer. After all, I've gone for my annual exams, I've gotten paps at every one of those exams, and until now they have all come back normal. Extensive blood testing has revealed that I have no other sexually transmitted diseases, my thyroid is fine, etc. OK. So I count my medical blessings and move on, with all the courage that I can muster, to face another day. So must we all. Just do me a favor. Forward this post to EVERY WOMAN YOU CAN because regardless of how my results come out, the bigger, more important question to the world is...do you know if you have HPV? Pre-cervical cancer? Cervical cancer? The easiest way to know for sure is to go for a Pap smear...and while that may not have been on the top-ten list of things for you to do with your spare time, if you want more spare time in your life as opposed to having it cut short...get away from the computer, pick up the phone, and make yourself an appointment STAT, sister! Good luck!
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