"You know you love me/You know I care/Just shout whenever/And I'll be there." Justin Bieber--"Baby, Baby, Baby"
Why am I citing to Justin Bieber lyrics today? I don't know. Just kinda felt a bit Bieber-ish, what can I say? It's one goddamn catchy tune.
Let me debunk the bullcrap behind a commonly issued piece of advice today, okay? Because I'm feeling fiesty and it just feels right to cry bull$#!t once in a while. Don't you love reading about weight loss advice in magazines, where they give you little crappy bits of wisdom like, "Want to eat less? Just put your food on smaller sized plates," like, freaking' voila! You're going to realize that you're eating wayyyy too much for your own good.
Listen, the scale is screaming at you that you failed in terms of portion size. That ship has sailed. Obviously, you have to eat less crappy, unhealthy food. Duh.
Maybe if you're a more simplistic thinker in terms of food, you'll try the smaller cups, smaller plate ditty on for yourself, and maybe it will work. But let's break down WHY it might work.
Our country is totally blind when it comes to portion sizes. And, no, we can't just bitch-slap McDonald's and blame it on them with their Supersizing everything. I mean, after all, portion sizes were going up in food chains and restaurants around the country long before that...Supersizing was just part of the collective zeitgeist of "Bigger, Better, Faster, More," as far as I'm concerned. You can't blame McDonald's, after all, for why the soft drink bottlers went from cans to the plastic bottles...where the latter actually contains anywhere from two to two and a half servings alone. Or why the snack size candy bars suddenly got "King Sized." Or why buffets of any food style are actually racking up greater sales with every year. Or why a teensy weensy sack of chips suddenly grew into something closer than a "Family Size" bag. And so on.
I mean, at least McDonald's thought to eventually do away with the Supersizing phenomenon. It only took a few lawsuits, I suppose. But I don't think anyone else is following suit. Do we sue them?
Or maybe we just should open our eyes and figure out what a portion size really should be. That would be where the old "smaller plate and cup" tip might come in handy. The thing is, trust me, you won't be magically less hungry just because you actually drank a beverage in a teensy weensy thin glass that (surprise) is an 8 ounce serving, or you dined on a dinner plate that actually was a cake plate instead. I'm giving you lots of credit; you're smarter than that. No, no, your tummy is going to cry and you'll do everything including bite a wooden spoon to avoid having another helping.
At least, you will if you're serious about weight loss.
But as you battle your crying stomach (and crying eyes, probably) at least you'll start learning what a proper portion size is, and even if you cheat a bit, you'll no longer be ignorant about just how much food and drink you really aught to have at a time. So I suppose that's a good thing. It's still going to suck like hell, though. Just call a friend or an Overeater's Anonymous food sponsor (or your mother, especially if you're overdue for a bout of guilt) and rustle up a shoulder to cry on. But until you get through the horrible business of eating less and shrinking that stomach size, it ain't gonna get any easier.
After a certain point, all of this "eat healthier" and "lose weight" kind of yadda yadda bull$#!t just boils down to the same thing...you have to WANT the outcome more than you WANT the food. And trust me, I'm no angel about it, so I know it's hard as hell to get to that outcome.
Now, that Justin Bieber, quite a few tweens a teens around the globe might elect him as an angel. But me, I'm an honest attorney when I admit that I'm not one at all. (And hey, an honest attorney need not be an oxymoron).
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