"And no, I ain't perfect/Nobody walkin' this earth's surface is...." Jay-Z, '03 Bonnie & Clyde
Well, 2010 was the year from hell. Glad to be kissing that suckfest goodbye in a few days!
Why, oh why, Stacey? you ask. Well, let me tell you...the first seven months were spent regaining facial movements courtesy of Bell's Palsy...and I'm still not completely healed. I've had Bell's since November 16, 2009...really, I've done my time, already. I would like for my face not to twist into a half-grimace, half-smile when I pose for a picture. I'd like not to seem like I was beat by the ugly stick when no one was looking. (I can be brutally honest about myself, right?) I'm a former local model, and seriously, I have some pride. But that's okay...at least my right eyeball isn't popping out of my head like a total monster...I admittedly appear pretty normal nowadays, I'm told. How refreshing. You know, I am honestly grateful about that...and about the fact that I didn't lose my right eye, which at one point was a risk, since the orb was so dehydrated. Black Friday 2009 I was in wracking pain. Black Friday 2010, I was on line at Kohl's at 3 AM getting some pretty fricking awesome deals. Don't think it didn't occur to me as I was waiting my turn amongst other pajama-clad, oderiferous adults that I was lucky to be healthier, much healthier, one year post-onset of Bell's Palsy. I had time to think about that...and about hundreds of other things, because my turn at check-out didn't come for at least another hour.
Then came the Great Cancer Scare of 2010...two biopsies later, amazingly, I am clean. And, again, exceedingly grateful. So, I figured, let's keep the momentum going...let's get back to 135 pounds! I wanted to work out, eat healthier, and increase my chances of staying alive. Yeah, I had the greatest of intentions. A cancer scare should motivate you to effectuate a total turnaround like nothing else, right?
But, fold in a busy solo practice as an attorney, a child at home and no daycare (just try settling a case over the sound of a screaming toddler while an insurance adjuster is on speakerphone...ah, there's nothing quite like it...but hey, I did get great results for said client all the same). Suddenly, the days fly by. I have a perfect excuse...I'm busy, aren't I?
Of course, when I croak because I haven't taken good care of myself, I guess I'll have no one to thank but myself. That "too busy" excuse is the greatest tale ever told. The reality is, I didn't prioritze my health over eating, watching television and a million other things that steal away five minutes here, fifteen minutes there. Hey, I ain't perfect. No one is. Please, even the people who look like they're perfect aren't. For all you know, they're cutting themselves, binging and purging, or so riddled with stress that their insides will eventually resemble Swiss cheese. Our feet are made of clay, people, each and every one of us. It's okay if you, like myself, have promised repeatedly that you were going to get with the program...and then fizzled out, a miserable failure. Because today's a new day, and so is every day after that. All that matters is...taking that first step back on the path to recovery...and then minding every step thereafter, so you don't wander off into the candy aisle of life.
So, for all those who missed my blog, don't you worry...I'm back. I've actually been back on the road to health for a week now...and I've lost 4 pounds. I've gone from 166 to 162 by cutting out soda consumption, and so I'm hoping to be cracking the crust of the 150's before year's end by layering in one healthy practice at a time.
That means I have to turn up the volume, so eating better and exercising more...here I come! And if you want to learn from me (my mistakes as well as my successes), hey, by now you know I have zero shame. Neither should you. So follow my blog...it may motivate you, you may laugh if nothing else...or you can just stalk me to see when I slip and fall. I won't allow myself to slide off the Internet again. This blog is my accountability...and I want you to hold me to my promises...so if you want to flame away pissily at me on my blog, go ahead. You have any suggestions you want to share with the class, go ahead. If you want to whine and opine about how goddamn hard it is to burn this gooey fat off your body, please do. We can support each other...and I'll happily lay my life bare if it helps one person. For example, I slid off the garden path back towards Hell today...I ate five pieces of bacon and not three. That's bad, right? Eating bacon at all probably wasn't a bright idea, but then again, my middle name is hardly Einstein. But that's okay. You're not perfect, I'm not perfect...but we can do this together!
Jay-Z's right...no one's perfect. But that doesn't mean that we can't quest to be the most perfect version of ourselves that is possible. While we may never make perfection, the concept of "happier and healthier" isn't some unattainable state. I'm going to claim a big old share of that state in 2011...and shamelessly, to boot! Join me! Who's in? Let's keep each other on the path, bitching, moaning and celebrating the whole way! Misery loves company...and so does success!
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