SlimStacey

Ten Minute Trainer...Torture or Totally Awesome?

So, I finally succumbed to the Beachbody infomercial tidal wave and got myself the Ten Minute Trainer program.  (And, NO, this is not a paid endorsement of the program, I don't do paid endorsements).  Now, I have a wonderful workout program of DVDs called The Firm, which I've blogged about previously, but those workouts are between 45 minutes and 60 minutes, and since I'm only just starting to channel energy back into my body, I don't think I could last that long.  Quite frankly, I KNOW I couldn't...those workouts are great, they do totally tone your body, it's true you see results within 10 days, but it's just...well, too much intensity for too long.  The grand old nag just ain't what she used to be. 

Of course, the goal is to transform the old nag into Secretariat (minus the bullet to the head that the poor thing must have taken when his useful days were up...it reminds me of an old Star Trek--or was it Deep Space Nine???--episode, but I digress and in a very science-fiction-esque manner). 

Anyhoo, so I ordered the product off of eBay, because, well, the sticker shock just kicked my ass worse than a workout for 60 minutes at full throttle.  And I saved money.  And the package, for you naysayers, is fine, and yes, all the DVDs play, yadda, yadda, yadda.

So I actually DID the first recommended workout today.  Cardio.  Very succinctly titled, wouldn't you say.  Just "Cardio."  It's like, "Cher" or "Madonna."  Not much more you have to say.  Ten minutes.  I can do ten minutes, I think to myself.  It doesn't look bad.  And it isn't too bad. 

You don't have to use the fancy bands that come with the package, so no worries.  If you, the naysayer, are going to sit there and bitch about how you just can't set anything up in your home because you have kids, pets, rabid Zhu Zhu Pet hamsters, whatever, then fine, don't set the contraption up.  Trust me, honey, you'll get a full workout sans bands.

It IS only ten minutes, although "Cardio" does have a second version with warm up and cool down if you like.  But if you're lazy, you're scared, or you're a mother who just put her kid down for a nap and never has a clear idea how long freedom will last, then WTF, go without the warm up and cool down.  It's 10 minutes.  It probably took you longer to read this than it does to do a workout.  And is it effective?  Well, hell yeah.  I'm burning top to bottom right now, but I'm not physically devastated.

So no matter how lazy you are, you can log onto eBay, buy the thing used (or not) OR go top shelf and buy the product off the corresponding web site, and train along with me.  Because, provided nothing ELSE happens to my poor body, I'm going to train for 30 days and see what happens. 

'Cause, well, between having bronchitis for most of October and becoming physically devastated with Bell's Palsy and not one, but TWO head colds because of a suppressed immune system during delightful November and ducky December, I haven't exercised one lick...add in some holiday nibbling and, gee, are you NOT surprised that I gained 3 pounds and went back UP to 160 from 157?  Back into those size 12 jeans, I am.  (Channeling Yoda, right now, I am).  Well, let's just throw down the dice and see if I can rack up a seven and not snake eyes on my gamble....

D is for Deficient in Vitamin D

"How much blood are you going to take from me today?" I asked the lab tech at my primary care physician's office. 

"Oooh, well, you don't really want to know," said the big black woman as she swabbed my arm.  The smell of alcohol stung my nasal passages.  "In fact, honestly, you might want to turn away."

I did as I was told.  I'm not one to argue with my phlebotomist.  After all, they're the ones who have the right to stick you with a sharp object and watch you bleed, and that's their jobs and all...I would imagine they could make the whole process a hell of a lot more nasty at the drop of your hat if you're an unmitigated bitch to them.

Well, eight long tubes of blood later, I thought, that wasn't so bad.  Until I stood up and the room kinda did a little dance on me.

I staggered out of the room and up the hall like I'd just gotten out of a frat party, circa 1991, but a whole lot less fun involved, gotta say. 

A week later, the phone call came in.  It was Dr. Awesome's assistant, and she said, "Well, the good news is, all but one blood test came back normal."

"And the bad news?"

"The one that came back abnormal shows that your Vitamin D levels are very very low.  So you have to take fifty thousand units at a time." 

"Wait.  Did you say fifteen thousand?"

She laughed.  "No, dear.  FIFTY THOUSAND units."

"Oh, God, well, I've got a Walgreens right by me, so I'll run out and get some, I guess."

"You might want to tell me which one:  you have to have a prescription to get 50,000 unit increments."  She laughed harder now.  "I mean, after all, without a prescription you'd be swallowing a bottle a day!"

Am I a goofball or what?  But what do I know?  2009 was the year I began a serious trek back to a healthy life.  I've lost 42 pounds total, stopped drinking soda of any kind in March of '09 and I cut down on my Coffee Coolatta obsession from daily to weekly...and now I'm at once a month.  You laugh, go ahead, but I'll take my freakin' progress however I can.  I returned to Tae Kwan Do and I was exercising daily until I got bronchitis in October...and after I recovered from that, then came my stupid Bell's Palsy.  Bite me.

So now I'm taking Vitamin D like a fiend.  One of my blog's readers sagely recommended I discuss Vitamin D.  Well, kudos to her.  Here's the discussion.

In the Northeast where I live, adults and children alike are found, especially as of late, to be seriously deficient in Vitamin D.  How deficient?  Well, researchers from Children's Hospital of Philadelphia measured kids' blood concentration from this part of the country and found that over half of them had inadequate Vitamin D levels.  OVER HALF.  And that's just our children...if you're an adult, whether male or female, you run the risk of osteoporosis or osteomalacia (bone softening) if you have such a deficiency.  That's one yucky collision course with nasty aging, y'all.

Vitamin D promotes healthy bones because it aids in the absorption of calcium; it also has been found, according to recent and mounting studies, to stave off Type 1 diabetes; alleviates muscle and bone pain; breast cancer; bone cancer; colon cancer; prostate cancer; ovarian cancer; esophageal cancer; and cancer of the lympathic system.  Could this be why cancer is on the rise?  People just aren't getting their Vitamin D?  Oh, and don't give me that crap that you don't live in the Northeast so you're probably OK and/or you're outdoors a lot.  If you use sunscreen, it is known to counteract the Vitamin D benefits of 15 minutes of sunlight--and that includes everyday sunscreen, makeup, etc.  Plus, experts are now saying that it isn't worth the risk of skin cancer to forego utilizing sunscreen just to get your Vitamin D (well, duh....).

But 600 IU daily is what we're supposed to get, and trust me, food isn't exactly filled to the brim with it.  GET A SUPPLEMENT!  And if you're constantly getting sick all the time, consider 1,000 to 2,000 IU daily (please run this past your doctor, but it's the sort of thing you could probably call his/her nurse with in terms of a quick question).  What foods can you eat to help get your daily Vitamin D dose?  Try fortified milk; soy milk; rice milk; salmon; shrimp; and eggs.  Lactose intolerant?  Don't like these foods?  Did I mention take a supplement?  Oh, yeah, I did.  It costs, like, under six bucks to get a bottle of Vitamin D pills from your local supermarket...that's gonna run you about what a bag of chips and a bottle of dip will run you, so please don't whine to me about the cost of supplements, because Lord knows you're probably familiar with chips and dip, folks.  Forgo one round of the latter to get cozy with the former, because Vitamin D should be everyone's friend!  At 50,000 units daily, it's my freakin' lover!

I Wanna Be Adored (Or At Least Not A Freakshow)

"I don't have to sell my soul/[she's] already in me."  --Stone Roses, I Wanna Be Adored

Quick interlude about my Bell's Palsy nonsense, and we'll go back to health and fitness in future posts.  Sorry about the delay between posts, but I've been kinda sick...again...fighting off the flu which my poor husband contracted.  He's been quarantined to one part of the house, using one bathroom, and I've been quarantined to the other part of the house, using the other lavatory.  Good times.

And our son, Steven Ames?  Off with his grandparents for the past four days, since no one wanted him to get sick, either. 

And the H1-N1 shot I need to get once my immune system is back to normal (and so far, no dice, but eight tubes of blood were drawn recently, so we'll see soon enough)?  Ah, my primary care physician's office can't get any yet.  There's signs posted on every wall.  They have no idea apparently when they'll get more.  OK.  That officially sucks.

So, basically, I'm going to be stuck inside with a limited foray here and there until SPRING, which I believe is three and a half months away.  That officially sucks more.

When I go out to the doctors' office or to another health care providers' appointment, people stare.  Yep.  Now, mind you, I don't have the worst possible manifestation of Bell's Palsy.  My face doesn't "hang" or seem horridly asymmetrical.  The swelling's down on the right side of my face.  Color has returned to my skin.  And I can pretty much close the right eye if all my concentration is on doing so and I'm pretty much holding my breath.  Fun!  But the right eye...it still stares pretty much straight ahead, wide as can be.  It's kinda bugging out.  Gross! 

The stares get me.  Big time.  Even better is when a stupid teenaged girl says loudly to a friend of hers, there to keep her company, "Look at her eye!  Omigod, Jennifer, her eye!  Do you...do you...like see it?"  Then they both stare, agape, at me, like they're frigging invisible and I somehow can't see them four feet away.

"It's Bell's Palsy and it's temporary," I growl. 

Well, I certainly HOPE it's temporary, and with no permanent residuals.  Of course, I just fell for the old fashioned "don't rise to the bratty kid's bait" thing, but I was never good at that.  In elementary school, in middle school...you get the idea.  In the court room, however, I'm fine...because I expect my fellow litigator to goad and push, to say things to lure me down the wrong road of rationale.  I don't fall for that crap because I expect it.  I stick to my one, two or three talking points (three max) and I usually get the judge to agree with me.  But in the outside world, what's wrong with me that I would think that people would actually be civilized?

Could I ask everyone out there in Web World to do the real world a favor?  Stop staring at the poor folks who can't help the way they look?  Trust me, they noticed that something about them is off.  You don't need to remind them by gaping, pointing, lingering on them with your eyes bubbling up sympathy (ewww) or unmitigated pity.  Move on and groove on, folks.  That's what I'm trying to do.  And I'm going to kick the ass of this affliction yet!

Blood and Roses

"I need your love but it comes out wrong/I try to live but I don't belong/I close my eyes and I see/Blood and roses."  --The Smithereens, Blood and Roses

I'll talk more about good eats and how they affect your health in the next post.  I just kind of had to share with you an odd revelation that my father and I had when he took me to the certified nutritionist yesterday.  See, I can't really drive by myself safely yet...my right eye doesn't really want to work reliably, so my Dad had to take me to the appointment.  My internist/primary care physician prescribed a visit with the certified nutritionist, upon my request, so I could get on an eating program that would boost my immune system.  (I'll happily share in future posts the advice; you can benefit...my affliction is your gain, sort of thing).

So...my father came in with me out of curiosity and we both had a MAJOR AHA MOMENT having to do with the standard of medical care.  The kind of Aha! moment that you would have only if it happened directly to you.  YOU WILL BE SHOCKED!  If not, it's because you've already had this epiphany--no fair, cheating!

OK, so after smacking me upside the head with a Food Pyramid and going through my old eating habits, my recently acquired eating habits and a tweak or two (to be shared later), the nutritionist grilled me for awhile about my past medical history, both sides of my family's past medical histories and then began filling out a sheet.  "I'll have to fax this over to your primary care physician; you're seeing him on Monday, right?"  she asked.

"Yeah.  What is that thing you're filling out?"

"Well, it's a list of additional blood tests to run, based upon the data I've collected.  We need to check your blood levels for a few things directly related to your suppressed immune system and/or check the blood levels for things connected to possible other medical conditions." 

"Uhm, when they took blood in the emergency room, they didn't run these tests?"  I asked.

"No."

My father chimed in, "Well, her internist didn't think to order these things?"

"I suppose not; look, I'm only ordering these blood tests based upon what you're telling me.  I'm just a stickler," the nutritionist explained.

"But, you would think that the doctors, especially in the hospital with an acute situation on their hands, would run a broad spectrum check to see everything that could be wrong with her.  Don't they have the power to do that?" Dad queried.

"Yes, but that's not the standard of care.  In fact, if Stacey didn't bring up the possibility for the need to see a nutritionist, and her doctor didn't write the script, she'd never be here right now.  That's being an informed medical consumer on her part...and now, I'm trying to augment her care.  If you don't ask, you don't get."  (LEGALESE ALERT:  Standard of care is a diagnostic and treatment process a clinician should follow for a certain type of patient, illness or clinical circumstance.  If a clinician does exactly what is prescribed by the standard of care and nothing more, guess what?  You can't successfully sue them in terms of medical malpractice.  Yes, I am a lawyer, and yes, sickeningly, that's TRUE).

"But you'd have to know in order to ask the right questions in the first place," I objected. 

The nutritionist shrugged.  "These extra tests will be ordered for you now." 

OMG!  "Uhm, I'm planning on going to [name of private health care center withheld] in the coming week or two; they warn on their web site that a lot of what they do won't be covered by insurance, but I've heard great things about them.  They indicated that they will likely do a broad spectrum blood scan of me to catch anything and everything.  What do you think?"

Nutritionist:  "They're awesome.  I've heard nothing but great things, too.  Oh, and sure, they'll catch anything and everything and that's great."

"So, why won't the hospital do it?"  Dad asked.

"Because insurance won't cover it.  They're afraid they won't otherwise get paid.  But if YOU pay for it out of pocket through a private health care center, that's between you and them, and, well, as long as they meet the standard of care, they're fine anyway.  You're fine.  Everyone's fine." 

Well, my father and I walked out of the nutritionist's office in silence.  We walked to the car in silence.  As soon as the door shut, we looked at each other and began talking excitedly over one another.

"I'll never look at the world of medicine the same way," Dad told me.  "That's disturbing.  You hear complaints about insurance, but you never, ever think that there's some sheer minimum that, as long as it's met, everything is legally OK.  Meanwhile, things could be wrong with you that don't get caught...that could get caught...and if you don't think to ask for the specific test, it won't get ordered!" 

"Or, maybe you ask, the doctor says it's not necessary (per the standard of care) and it doesn't get ordered, and you don't have the money to pay for it privately, and something festers inside you that could have been found, could have been eliminated...."

"You'd have to know to ask in the first place!"  Dad shook his head.  "How would you know if you weren't a doctor or working in the medical field...?"

Now, listen:  I love my primary care physician.  Anything I ask for, he agrees I should look into it, give it a shot.  And he has gone the extra mile for me every time.  He cares about me, and I'm not changing doctors over this.  The standard of care, as far as I'm concerned, has always been met by him.  And if I come to him as an informed consumer (sometimes I certainly have), he'll write a script for whatever is on the other end of that request.  Dr. Troll...he just is awful, and I'm never going back. 

And I still think the hospital was wonderful, too.  As an attorney, I can parse it out in my mind...you meet the standard of care and you're kind while you do it, you are above legal reproach.  Insurance basically pays you the bulk of your income as a hospital/doctor/clinician.  You need to be paid.  People don't necessarily have thousands of dollars to pay for out of the box thinking.  Without money, your hospital/private practice/clinic/whatever can't run. 

But still, I decry the fact that human life is precious and priceless.  Should we not start to become more informed consumers?  Should we not engage in preventative medicine so we don't need so much medical intervention as we age anyway?  Should we not realize that instead of shopping for that new outfit or buying that new techno-fun gadget that we should put that money aside for the day when what insurance and co-pays won't be able to cover? 

Because I don't know about you, but I don't want to live on in ignorance.  I want to LIVE and I want to LIVE WELL and for A LONG TIME and seriously, if I have to give up on a vacation or a new car just to find out everything I need to know about the current state of my health, then so be it!  Take another look at those lyrics I quote at the opening of this blog post...it's not just a play on words about blood and blood tests for me, personally..."I try to live but I don't belong"...really?  You don't belong in this life if you don't take your health seriously...you need to do what you can to live in a healthy manner, and be the informed consumer you need to be in the sad event you're no longer healthy.  Learn with me.  Avoid my mistakes.  Copy my successes.  We can make it to 100 and beyond!!!

Pomegranate Power

"Put your arms around me/When it gets too hot we can go outside/But for now just come here/Let me whisper in your ear/An invitation to the dance of life"  --Madonna, Celebration

So I told you in my last post or so that I'd start talking to you about the benefits of fruit and vegetables, without seeming like a ukulele-strumming hippie...well, I can do that! I've been eating more fruits and vegetables than meat the past few weeks, since my Bell's Palsy struck, and I can tell you, not only have I lost weight, but my recovery process has been going extremely well, whereas my neurologist told me, oh, no, it would take me months to see anything change and/or to make a full recovery.  I mean, why wouldn't you at least want to try out what I'm doing?  What's the worst that could happen?  I mean, it's not like you're going to eat a ton of fruits and vegetables and your health is going to crash.  I'm not even asking you to avoid meat...Lord knows I'm not going to do it!  But I eat very little of it now....

Let's take the Pomegranate as an example of one simple switch you could make that will reverse atherosclerosis and give you all sorts of energy.  What?  You say?  What's atherosclerosis?  It's the build up of waxy plaque on the inside of your blood vessels.  What?  You say?  You don't know why you should care about that?  OK, this "hardening of the arteries" causes hypertension, heart attacks,stroke, and peripheral vascular disease. 

Do I have your attention?  Now, you could be taking medications for these conditions, but all the meds are going to do is keep the conditions at bay.  They don't reverse the conditions.  Enter the pomegranate.  A 2004 study, for example, showed that it reversed arterial wall thickness over the course of 1 year...and all the subjects had to do was drink EIGHT OUNCES of it DAILY.  That's it!  Arterial wall thickness, just by doing that little bit of lifestyle change, was reduced by 30%.  Whoah.  The laziest schlub on earth can do this, and without a prescription!

See, pomegranate manages to reduce oxidant stress and decrease free radical damage, while protecting and enhancing the biological benefit of nitric oxide on blood vessels.  OK, say what?  Your brain is burning from this Mr. Wizard World stuff?  Fine, just understand that as we age there's less nitric oxide in our arteries, which ultimately leads to plaque build-up, until blood flow is restricted or completely blocked.  Why wouldn't you want to do something so simple and painless as pound an eight ounce shot of pomegranate juice...to keep these problems at bay or to start reversing the problems if you have them?

I dunno.  I want to enjoy the dance of life as long as I can.  Bottoms up!

The Secret of My Success

"I always said I could make it and be who I am/There's a new look in sight/what a change for a modern [wo]man."  --Night Ranger, The Secret of My Success

Oh, OK, Night Ranger...80's...Michael J. Fox and Helen Slater (think move, circa 1987, same title)...80's...  Sigh, I loved the 80's.  I had so much fun during that era...although there were things that pissed me off during that era, too, come to think of it.  Am I the only person who can't wait for the New Year to bring a new decade?  'Cause after Bell's Palsy, this one was a lemon and I want my money back.  (Oh, Meatloaf, wherefore art thou?)

Anyhow, I'm down to 157 pounds now.  When I started this blog I was 12 pounds heavier, and that was only a few months ago.  TWELVE POUNDS...go to the grocery store, take one of those produce scales, and keep loading it up...and get a good visual for what 12 pounds is....  And I've lost four of those pounds over the last two weeks ALONE!

So what's my secret?  It's something that I'm going to cover quite a few ways in future blog posts.  That's why you totally want to spread this blog around to your neighbors, friends, co-workers, anyone who has a weight loss and/or a general health issue.  Because since I was bedridden the first few weeks of this Bell's Palsy nightmare, I'd read a book a day, to a book every other day, on health, fitness, nutrition...and I'm still knocking them down, folks!  My loss can become your gain (well, unless you want weight loss, in which case, my loss can be your loss TOO).  Whatever works.

I've converted my eating from mostly meat and starch to more vegetables and fruit than not.  Now, stick with me here.  I'm not suddenly going to go Veggie Commando on you and freak out about organic produce versus non-organic, and that you should become some ovo-lacto vegetarian purist.  I'm not saying there isn't credibility for that kind of argument...I just know that, well, gee, I kind of still like meat and all....  So if you do, too, you can breathe a sigh of relief.  I'm not going pork postal on you.

In the meantime, let me start this thought on my blog and continue with future posts, since I never mean to write a mini-novel but then, shucks, I kind of do.  And you have work that you're probably eschewing to read this, so...awkward!  This is supposed to be a quick hit of whining and opining and we fade to black until tomorrow, right? 

Jesus, I'm already several paragraphs into this.  How does this always happen to me...?

Anyway, I know better than to spout extremes to the American public.  You can be 100 percent right and be 100 percent alone.  And I'd be the biggest hypocrite, so, while I'd make a wonderful politician, I'm trying to downplay the stress in my life not up it, since that apparently will help my health improve in the meantime.  So, just consider my initial suggestion and we'll look at it over the course of this week in more detail:  look at how many vegetables you eat in a day.  (Relax, I'm not going to club you over the head with a goddamn food pyramid, just answer the question).  Now, if you tried to put potatoes and corn in there, take them out of the equation.  Why?  Because when your body breaks down these veggies, they're actually starch...and starch breaks down into (cue up the high school science teacher theme music) SUGAR.  That's right.  That's why diabetics have to beware these starchy, carby foods.  Because they have to be extremely careful with their sugar intake. 

So, come on now, it's just you and me.  Actually, what the hell--it's only YOU reading this.  I'm really not here anymore; I've already posted this thing and I'm probably wearing a lampshade on my head to entertain Steven Ames, who's up from a nap.  You're by yourself, you can be (and should be) honest with yourself.  So, how many vegetables do you eat in a day?  If the answer is none, one or two, you're doing yourself a huge disservice.  You'll learn why in future posts, but for now, take a good hard look at what you eat.  Most of it is meat and potatoes, right?  Can you really count the pickles and two bits of onion that you get when you get that drive-thru burger?  Are you excited if you go to Subway and you build your sandwich with lettuce, tomato and onion, then drown it in dressing?  Do you think that LTO even equals a single serving of vegetables?  Do you even know the answer to any of these questions? 

Because, as you'll learn, as I already have, surprise!  The more vegetables (and, hey, fruits) you eat, the healthier you become.  The faster you shed weight.  And did you know that certain foods honestly can prevent heart disease, stroke, cancer, and inflammatory diseases?  Did you realize that if you're currently on medications for high blood pressure, cholesterol, etc. that you could reverse the deleterious conditon of your body depending on what foods you're ingesting?  Seriously. 

There are actual studies done by medical doctors, researchers and scientists, whice have discussed this type of thing at length.  I'm happy to share with you what I've learned, a little bit every day, because believe you/me, not only have I lost four pounds in two weeks...I can close my right eye again, after Dr. Troll (see a few posts ago) told me I'd probably not be able to do it for a few months, if at all.  My skin is pink and healthy.  I have energy that is increasing every day and my joints, which in the past had killed me, are starting to feel better!  I'm living proof that every bite and sip you take affects your health!

Now, tune in tomorrow for further details...and please be reassured, that I'm not morphing into some tree hugger who bakes her own dishes in a kiln and has her own self-sustaining victory garden in her backyard.  Remember me how I was at my son's first birthday party...hair, makeup, cute dress and high heeled long-legged black leather boots.  I'm a Libra.  We don't do crunchy granola...although we may, when no one's looking, eat it!